Room With A View

I was able to join Kevin in Arizona early this month for some R&R following a business event he attended.  We decided to not make too many plans and just do what seemed fun for that day.  On Friday we decided, rather offhandedly, to take the drive up to the Grand Canyon from Sedona through Flagstaff.  What a great decision this turned out to be!!

The Grand Canyon was one of the most breathtaking, audaciously gorgeous places I have ever visited.  I didn’t know what to expect and pictures simply do not do the Grand Canyon justice.  As we stood on the south rim looking across the canyon I was left speechless, yes speechless, with awe at how starkly beautify this wonder of the world is.  I can only imagine what it looks like at midnight when the stars are shining down from a clear sky.  You probably feel like you can reach up and pluck a star from the sky.

As I stood there speechless and having my mind blown by this wonder of the world I felt like God began to speak to me about holding life in the tension of both the Grand Canyon view as well as the microscopic view.  As I stood on the rim of the canyon I could see the entire expanse of the canyon and it is marvelous!  The colors, the shadows, the sounds and at time the absolute silence, the birds, the rocks and the various forms the rocks make.  It was stunning.  But, I was unable to really see the bottom of the canyon and I certainly couldn’t study what makes the canyon the canyon.  For that I needed to get to the bottom of the canyon floor and begin to take apart the canyon as it were.  I would need to gather sand, rocks, stones, plant life etc and examine them much closer with much more refined tools than my eyes.  That’s life.  You have to keep both views in tension.  In one hand we hold the Grand Canyon view of life with its expansive beauty and majesty, its tapestry of sights, sounds, colors, tastes and smells.  In the other hand we hold the narrow, microscopic view of life by studying at a deeper level allowing us to more closely examine the reason why we feel what we feel, believe what we believe, value what we value, act like we act and react to situations like we do.

We can’t always live with the Grand Canyon perspective or we will miss the important details that make life deeply and intensely rich.  But  we also cannot only live with the microscopic, introspective perspective or we miss the larger than life ideas inspire us, make life sweet and allow us to not just dream but to reach for those dreams.  You must hold them both in your hands.

I only had my phone with me so the pictures aren’t that great and they obviously don’t do the Grand Canyon justice but here are a few from our visit:

Though I was speechless as I gazed upon this glorious example of God’s extravagant imagination I just had to share this little life lesson out loud with you…

 

Do You Want to Get Well?

The Gospel of John is my favorite of the four Gospels in the Bible primarily because John gives us so many accounts of how Jesus interacted with people.  In John’s Gospel we get to feel like we are walking along the dusty roads of Jerusalem with Jesus and his followers  We get the most up close and personal encounters Jesus had with people in John’s Gospel.

When I read the Bible it is often the things that are unsaid that intrigue me as much as what is said.  The story of Jesus’ encounter with a paralyzed man in John chapter 5 is an example of this.

I like how The Message records the encounter:

Near the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there was a pool, in Hebrew called Bethesda, with five alcoves. Hundreds of sick people—blind, crippled, paralyzed—were in these alcoves. One man had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, “Do you want to get well?”

The sick man said, “Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.”

Jesus said, “Get up, take your bedroll, start walking.” The man was healed on the spot. He picked up his bedroll and walked off.

There are several reason why this encounter intrigues me:

1. Jesus knew this was a place where sick people gathered hoping for healing as well as to beg for alms
2. Knowing the history of the pool and knowing how long the man had been an invalid the question “Do you want to get well?” seems obvious
3. It seems as if the man doesn’t even answer Jesus’ question but gives an excuse
4. Jesus heals him anyway
5. The man doesn’t even know who Jesus is because later on we read that he was asked who gave him permission to carry his mat on the Sabbath and he doesn’t know who healed him.  Jesus healed him anyway.

I’ve asked hundreds if not thousands of people this very question as I’ve counseled, pastored or simply befriended them: “Do you want to get well?”

Who doesn’t want to get well?

Because I have worked with hurting people for so many years I have read this encounter many times asking the Holy Spirit to help me understand it and to get what is not so obvious in the words.  And then one day I read it completely different.  A whole new perspective opened up to me.

I believe the paralyzed man (in most other translations it says he was paralyzed) actually did answer Jesus’ question with a “Yes I do want to get well” but he was saying I want to get well in the only way I know how to get well, I need someone to help me get into the pool when the angel stirs the water and since I don’t have that I can’t get well.  (Legend has it that an angel would periodically stir the waters of the pool and the first one in received healing).

In the man’s experience the only way to get healing was to get in that pool so he was answering “Yes, I want to get well I just don’t know how it’s going to happen because I can’t get in the pool.”

Back to Jesus’ original question.  After a bit of research I discovered that people like this man became dependent upon their family and friends to carry them to and from the pool.  This was also an area where the man could beg for alms.  Jesus wasn’t just asking him do you want to get well from your paralysis, he was asking a whole lot of other questions in that one question: “Do you want to be healed of your paralysis?” to be sure  but also “Do you want to stop relying on your friends and family to cart you around?”  ”Do you want to become a productive member of society and earn a living rather than beg for alms?”  And lastly and most importantly “Do you want to get well my way?”  Because Jesus had a whole other ideas about healing.  Jesus had power to heal unlike anything this man had encountered before.  Jesus was about to heal way outside the box for this man.

Jesus said, “Get up, take your bedroll, start walking.”  Not the avenue of healing this man was expecting or looking for.

“Instantly the man was healed” is what John tells us.  How did he know he was healed?  I don’t know but I do know he responded with faith because he picked up his bedroll and walked off.  Hmm, not even a thank you recorded.  He just walked off.

I think this story has HUGE implications for those of us today regarding healing of any sort.  It seems like such an easy question to answer, “Do you want to get well?”  Of course I do!  Who doesn’t want to get well?

But do you want to get well the way Jesus’ has for you to get well?  Or are you stuck in your perspective of how you should get well?

• Has a friend or relative been powerfully delivered of an addiction so you are now waiting for God to do that for you?
• Has someone you know had God miraculously pay off a debt and now you are waiting for God to do it the exact same way for you?
• Has someone been healed of depression and is now off antidepressants and you are wondering why you can’t get off them?
• Do you read the stories of healing in the Bible and expect it to happen exactly like that for you?

You get the idea.  My point is that God DOES have healing for us but if we are fixated on the way we think healing should happen because that is how He did it for someone else we may miss the unique way He wants to heal us.  The Bible records so many ways that Jesus healed we cannot afford to get fixated on one way.  And since Jesus is the same today, He is still in the business of healing His way according to what you need.

Jesus created you and designed you.  Nobody knows you better than your loving Creator.  No one knows what you need  to heal and how you need to heal better than Jesus who loves you and accepts you 100%.

So I think Jesus was asking a much larger question: “Do you want to get well my way?  Will you consider a whole different plan for healing than the one way you think healing will come?”

Less obvious but likely true based on the research I did Jesus was also asking the man “In getting well are you willing to take responsibility for your life?  Because you can’t expect your friends to carry your burden any more and you can’t come here  begging for alms.  You are going to need to be a productive member of society.”

That’s a powerful question “Do you want to get well My way and make the changes necessary in order to have this healing?”

What is hurting in your life today?

Do you want to get well?

Do you want to get well God’s way?

Will you trust Him to know exactly how healing should come to you?  Will you trust Him to speak into your life exactly what you need to heal?

Will you embrace the changes that healing will bring into your life?

Just asking it out loud for you to ponder on the inside.

My Virtual Life…Is Taking Over My Life!

This morning I caved and joined Pinterest.  I’ve had the app on my phone for a couple of months now but have resisted joining because I knew it would suck me in the moment I did.

And I was correct!  I haven’t even created one board or pinned on interest but I have spent at least an hour surfing all my friend’s boards for ideas.  Yikes!!

This morning I took Kevin to the airport and since then I have been living virtually through my computer.

I am already an early riser but now I think I’m going to have to get up at 4 AM to get it all in.

After I read my bible and journal I check out what my family, friends and acquaintances are doing on:

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Tumbler
• Blogs through my google reader
• Instagram
• E-newletters
• Online groups I belong to
• Online devotionals

And now Pinterest.

I may never have to leave my house and talk to actual people as I can have a whole virtual life and feel like I’ve connected with actual people.

On second thought, that will never work for an extreme extrovert such as myself.

I much prefer life out loud, up close and in person.

But I’m still gonna need to get up an hour early so I can check in on my virtual life and steal all your good ideas and thoughts for my life!

Praying It Forward…

If you’ve read this blog at any point you may have picked up on the fact that the last several years have been difficult and painful as well as challenging and maturing.  (Insert slightly sarcastic chuckle here)   The process of transitioning and reframing your life will cause you to reflect upon just about everything in your life especially your past as you try to answer the question “How in the heck did I get here?!”

One of the more difficult and hairy issues we’ve faced in the last year in particular is that some people have felt that they have to choose relationally.  I have had a very difficult time wrapping my brain and my heart around this and have spent quite a bit of time praying and writing in my journal on this troublesome issue.  I honestly struggled with the idea that one would have to choose.

While we were in Minnesota for the holidays Kevin and I had a conversation with my mom and the lightbulb suddenly went off in my head as she compared the situation we find ourselves in to a divorce.

My parents separated the summer before my 8th grade year and divorced when I was 14 so my mom understands divorce.   While divorce is a huge and painful scar on the landscape of all the family members involved, it is especially and uniquely scarring to children as it creates an immediate sense of insecurity and the very nature of divorce creates sides.  Whether you want to our not, friends and family feel like they have to choose sides and the children are often the collateral damage of this relational tug-of-war.  I know this from a pastoral/counselor point of view as I’ve walked beside friends as they’ve navigated the twisting and winding path that is divorce.

However, and this was my lightbulb moment, I did not experience that division of sides as a child of a divorced home and that is why this past year has been so confusing for me at times.  In the midst of the pain and confusion of the separation my mom became a follower of Jesus and has never looked back.  When my mom decided to follow Jesus she dived in all the way and embraced the Word of God as her authority for life and her guide as she navigated the divorce and it bore amazing fruit in all of our lives.  Fruit that I am just now really beginning to appreciate and value.

Forgiveness and praying for others were the first things I learned from my mom.  I was not a good pupil by any means as I was angry and confused by the separation, she probably thought every word she shared with me about the Bible and Jesus went in one ear and out the other but the truth is I absorbed it like a sponge.  More importantly, I experienced her words lining up with her actions and I did follow in her footsteps as I decided to follow Jesus not long after she did.

I am amazed at how my mom’s words and actions imprinted on me deeply and profoundly as I observed her as she modeled forgiveness and prayer.  Most mornings when I got up for school the first thing I saw was my mom kneeling at the foot of her bed, Bible open before her and a long list of people she was praying for.  I know my mom was reeling from the separation and full of fear about the future, but she choose to forgive my dad and speak forgiveness into the situation and she taught my brothers and I to do the same.  She choose to trust Jesus and that what His word says is true, that He was trustworthy even when what He was asking was very difficult like “Forgive those who have sinned against you” and “Teach your children to honor and respect their dad by being respectful of him with your own words.”

I cannot recall ever feeling like I had to choose between my mom or my dad.  I cannot remember either of my parents putting us in the middle so we felt like we were the rope in their emotional tug-of-war.  Nor can I recall my extended family on either side, and we are a big family, ever making me feel like I had to choose.  I don’t recall expecting my family or friends to choose one side or the other.  I am convinced that my mom’s choice to forgive and to pray for those who are hurting you was the key to this incredible blessing in our lives.  I cannot recall either of my parents speaking ill or nasty of the other one.  In fact both parents, and eventually my step-mom, expected us to be respectful of all the parents in our family.

I have memories of my mom’s brothers still playing golf with my dad and my dad’s sisters still talking to and comforting my mom.  While I grieved the holidays because they were now split between mom and dad, I can’t remember feeling like a traitor to one side or the other because we loved our grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins on both sides of the family.

There were mistakes made and hurt enough to go around for sure, but we were spared so much by the simple obedient act of forgiveness.

I am sure that there are pieces of this story that, because I was a child and was therefore not privy to the private and intimate pain and anger my mom and dad were experiencing, would paint a different picture.  But for me, my mom’s constant reminder that we needed to forgive dad and forgive her and forgive whoever else was causing us pain as well as asking us “have you prayed for them?” was a divine lesson in humility and valuing relationships over being right or the right to be the victim.  (That last one alone is probably worthy of a number of blog posts!)

I learned to pray out loud “Father I choose to forgive….” from my mom and I learned the value of a praying life from my mom.

This is a legacy and an inheritance worth more than millions in gold and silver.  The legacy of praying it forward has borne so much fruit in my life and the lives of my kids it’s overwhelming to think about.

I can only hope that I have prayed this forward into my children’s lives.  I can only pray that the legacy of forgiveness and valuing relationships will be prayed froward from my mom to me to my children to my grandchildren and on down to a thousand generations of those who love the Lord.

I am deeply grateful this year for the legacy of forgiveness in relationships.

I am deeply grateful that my mom not only lived this out loud but prayed this out loud and forever changed the course of history for our family.

I love you mom!

V is for Victory

While rereading my journals from 2011 I made an unpleasant and somewhat embarrassing discovery: apparently 2011 was a bloody year. A lot of entries were about bleeding emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. (Well physically only because Mr Larson keeps my knives nice and sharp and my fingers pay the price!) I don’t think I have fought a harder battle than I have this past year and I’ve fought a few big battles in my life. But seeking to know the Truth and hear from the Truth regarding calling and purpose was incredibly murky waters to swim in this past year. And the water often felt shark infested.

I have a new-found respect for the men and women who have wrestled and struggled with the question of calling and purpose and then produced books for us to read as we wrestle and struggle with these same deeper issues of life.

Until this past year I was pretty arrogantly secure in the knowledge of what I believed I was called to and who I was called to do it with. When that boat gets capsized in your life it’s amazing the things you think, feel and believe.

As I was lamenting and scolding myself for all the bleeding this past year and the time wasted on trying to figure out what I am called to do or if I was even called to do anything, I had an overwhelming sense of God’s Holy Spirit filling the room and comforting me with these words: “I told you that you would have trials and tribulations in this world, but to cheer up for I have overcome the world for you. You have done well with the trials and tribulations set before you and now you are ready to walk in the overcoming I have already won for you.”

All I could say was “Holla! I’ll take that Jesus! Let the overcoming begin in 2012!”

It was a bloody battle as the sea billows rolled around me but I’m planting a victory flag and I’m saying it out loud with confidence

“It is well with my soul!”

Sometimes…

Sometimes I want to use this blog as a bully pulpit, throw in the towel, be passive aggressive and tell my side of the story…But then I remember that God alone is my vindicator and He alone will be my avenger…

Sometimes I just want to say whatever I want to say whenever I want to say…But then I remember what Proverbs and the book of James tells me about the power of the tongue and I am reminded of the times I have wounded and hurt those I love because I didn’t guard my tongue…

Sometimes I just don’t want to obey..But then I remember all the times I have rebelled and disobeyed and what it cost me and those I love…

Sometimes I just want to shout “Life is not fair!”…But then I remember what I have taught my kids and hundreds of others: “Life is not fair, but we serve a just God and He will make all things just in this lifetime or the next…”

Sometimes I just don’t want to want to ask the question “What is my part in this?  What do I need to own in this situation?”  Especially, from my limited perspective, it seems like I am the only one required to process this line of thinking…But then I remember what I have taught others about personal responsibility and walking your own walk…

Sometimes I don’t want to follow my own advice…

Sometimes I just want to give up because I am confused and angry and lonely and directionless…but then I remember the countless, nameless others who have gone before me who are infinitely more courageous, obedient, humble, sacrificial and willing than I am who have suffered far more than I will EVER suffer, who have paved the way for me to live, truly live my life…

2012 is to be a year of seeking Peace and remembering Romans 12.1-2 for me.

So when “sometimes” is tempting me to go my own way I am going to REMEMBER that I have PEACE in a person, I have peace in the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ and He will fulfill all that He promises in my life.

When “sometimes” is hammering away at my thinking and tempting me to go down dark alleys in my mind I am going to REMEMBER Romans 12.1-2 and call upon the Holy Spirit to help me, to transform my mind so that I can know God’s perfect will for my life.

The Sounds of Silence

“Well intentioned advice may sometimes do more harm than good.  The behavior of Job’s friends gives a classic example of how pride and a sense of being right can stifle true compassion.  the friends repeated pious phrases and argued theology with Job, insisting on their wrong-headed notions suffering (notions that still abound).  Job’s response: “If only you would be altogether silent!  For you, that would be wisdom” (Job 13.4-5).  As it turned out, the most compassionate thing the friends did for Job took place at the very beginning, when they sat in silence with him for seven days.”  Philip Yancey The Bible Jesus Read

I’ve been reading A LOT of books and commentaries on the book of Job.  Because of my own personal journey but also because I encounter people every day who are suffering and in pain.

I’ve spent the majority of my career caring for those in pain of one kind or another.  If I’ve learned one thing from people in pain, especially those who are suffering unjustly, it’s that they simply want to be heard.  They want to know that their pain matters.  They want their suffering to have meaning.  They really do not want my pat, religious answers to their pain.  They want an audience with the only one who can give meaning to their suffering: God.  They want permission to rage.

Again from Yancey’s book:

“God did not condemn Job’s doubt and despair, only his ignorance.  The phrase “the patience of Job” hardly fits the stream of invective that poured from Job’s mouth.  Job did not take his pain meekly; he cried out in protest to God.  His strong remarks scandalized his friends but not God.  Need we worry about somehow insulting God with an outburst triggered by stress or pain?  Not according to this book.  Ina touch of supreme irony, God ordered Job’s friends to seek repentance from Job himself, the object of their pious condescension.” 

I’ve spent the last two years filling journal after journal with Job-like questions and outburst of anger and rage at circumstances: What have I done to deserve this God?  What do I need to repent of?  Just tell me what I need to do and I will do it God!  I’ve fasted and prayed.  I’ve confessed and repented.  I’ve gotten prayer.  I’ve sought the wisdom and advise of those older and infinitely more wise than me.  What more can I do?  Just talk to me!!  Thank God for the book of Job and the permission it grants us to come before God with all of our emotions and thoughts, no matter how dark or desperate and seemingly lacking in faith they are.

I’ve learned what not to do and say from well-meaning people who have said all sorts of “right sounding” things to me in an attempt to help me get better.  It only made things worse for me.

I have learned THE MOST FROM a few friends and my simply amazing and godly husband who stood by and with me during the last  couple of years. Years which has been the most painful, confusing and traumatizing of my life. One of these friends put it well when they said they feel like they have been sitting silently in an open grave with me for the past year. It takes an amazing human being and committed follower of Jesus to simply choose to sit in an open grave with someone while they grieve and rage and weep and question everything about their faith walk without condemning or offering up unwanted and usually unhelpful advise. These friends and my husband and kids did not try to talk me out of my pain, explain the unexplainable or divert me from the process of working this out with Jesus and on His time-table. They were not ashamed nor were they embarrassed by my emotional pain, mental anguish or spiritual oppression.  They didn’t shame me when I demanded answers from God by telling me my faith was weak and I “Just needed to trust God in this.”  I knew that!  But I still wanted answers.  I still wanted God to speak into the pain and give it meaning.  But, amazing friends and family that they are, they also gently and firmly held me accountable to my thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors.

Sometimes the best way to help another person in pain is to simply be selfless enough to sit in an open grave with them and help them hang on to the hem of Jesus’ robe. The best way to help another person in pain is to acknowledge the pain and be the kind of long-term friend/pastor/spouse/parent/child/leader who will see you through all the way to the other side without once abandoning ship to save your own skin.

This experience has forever changed how I will serve and minister to the broken and hurting in life. I will still use the skill set and the gifts the Holy Spirit has given me to counsel and coach, but it comes from a totally different place with a renewed perspective and empathy like I have never had before.  AND a deep respect for the gift of silence.

Finally, to those of you who sat with me in the grave

THANK YOU!!

You know who you are and I would not be at this place of peace and joy without your quiet, humble, loving support.  I am eternally and deeply grateful for you.

 

The First Step is Admitting You Are Powerless…

Hi, my name is Pam and I have an addiction to…books!  I love books.  In fact I love reading material in general.  Books, magazines, blogs, newspapers etc.

I was reading before I started kindergarten.  I remember reading the encyclopedias during the summer because I couldn’t check out books from the school library and we lived too far away from the public library to walk to it.  Those were back in the days when we were all one car families and dad took the car to work every day.

I’m not saying I’m smart or anything because of this.  I just LOVE to read and to learn.  I love to lose myself in a good novel, especially if it is historical fiction.  I love theology books that teach me something new about Jesus or a new skill that will help people.  I love decorating magazines but I also sometimes sneak a read from Kevin’s magazines and newspapers from the Ag world (I am especially fond of Hoard’s Dairyman).  I’ve learned a lot about our food resources from these mags.  I read the Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post on my iPhone and I follow an eclectic variety of blogs.  I’m powerless over the written word my friends.

 

 

 

 

 

The Library was my first dealer and their books were my gateway drug.

Amazon.com became my supplier for much headier stuff and I never had to return what I was using!

Then the iPhone added a wonderful app from Amazon that allows you to search for a book and purchase it and within two days, if you are an Amazon Prime member, the book is on your doorstep.  OMG!  My iPhone goes EVERYWHERE with me.  I could access books at a moment’s notice.

 

 

 

 

 

Then, my wonderful husband Kevin (did you catch that word I used for you Mr L?) gave me a Kindle and it has been like crack cocaine!  My tolerance level for books has increased.  I now only have to push the “buy” icon and within seconds my latest fix is literally in my hands.

Currently on the table by my reading chair in my office are:

Leading with a Limp by Dan Allender
The Bible Jesus Read workbook by Philip Yancy
God Guides by Mary Geegh
The Courageous Life by local author Ron Brown
To Kill A Mockingbird (I’ve read it every year since I was about 12)

And in my Kindle are:

The Unlikely Spy by Daniel Silva
The Bible Jesus Read (the book) by Yancey
The First Dissident by William Safire (Who Yancey quoted often enough that I had to get his book)

The One Year Bible

Oh, and I also have the new InStyle, Traditional Home, Elle, Travel and Leisure, Fine Cooking and Kevin’s business magazines to keep me company as well.  Sometimes I even like the articles in his SI or Golf Digest.

Not to mention the Blogs in my google reader

Other than the 1-Year Bible and the Yancey book, I don’t read every book every day.  But I do get to every book within a week’s time.

This may explain why my blog is so ADD at times.  I am often inspired by the authors I read.  And for an extrovert who has lived her life out loud, for me to learn something is for me to want to share it with you as well.

How about you?  What are you reading right now?

 

 

 

 

Sticks and Stones and Words…

Who ever said “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words won’t ever hurt me” was

S T U P I D

I was recently in a conversation with some women: bright, intelligent, educated women, about the whole Jaycee Dugard story and one of them says something along the lines of “well I just think that at some level she, Jaycee, must have enjoyed or liked the affection.”

Two things happened inside of my head and heart as I tried to take in what she said with such confidence.  One was “What the heck are you saying?  You really believe that a twelve-year-old defenseless girl LIKED a creepy, disgusting older strange man touching her much less raping her?!  Think about what you are saying woman!”  But the other was a weirdly visceral flashback to a time when I was eight and someone said something similar to me.  A flashback to a series of events that I have had great healing in so I was surprised at how much of a direct hit I felt.

At eight I was molested by an older teenage boy in our neighborhood and as he was stealing my innocence, my sense of safety and my childhood he was telling me that I wanted this and that it t was my fault because I tempted him on the school bus.  I didn’t even know he rode the bus as I was eight and he was in high school.  I wondered for years how it was possible that I wanted that and what I had done to tempt him.

I have spent more time healing and recovering from the words, shameful, evil words, spoken to me with authority and power, than I have over the actual physical molestation.  The words he spoke that day and subsequent days haunted me for years and tainted every relationship and every decision I made; they tainted my early years as a wife and mother and as a follower of Jesus.  Those words hurt me and shamed me more than the physical violation.  Those words were a constant critical, abusive “parent” in my head for over two decades.

Words have power.  Words can build us up or tear us down.  The Bible has a lot to say about the power of words, but here are a few:

Proverbs 12:6
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the speech of the upright rescues them

Proverbs 12:18
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Proverbs 16:24
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

James 3:3-12

³ When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. ⁴ Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.⁵ Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶ The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

 ⁷ All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

⁹ With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. ¹¹ Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? ¹² My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

As Americans one of our most precious liberties is the right to free speech.  As a human being we have the gift of free will from our Creator.  As a woman and a Christian I do not take either of these freedoms lightly.  In many other countries both women and Christians have the fewest rights and certainly do not have a voice or the freedom to speak or the freedom to make their own decisions.

But the right to free speech and free will are liberties they are not license.  It is not license to say or do what ever we want without consequence or repercussion.

With great freedom comes great responsibility.

Yes, that boy was given a free will by God to choose to do whatever he wanted with his life.  He chose to be  a perpetrator in my life.  He was also free to say whatever he wanted to me.  But that does not mean he is free from the responsibility of the consequences of his actions or words.  Hi is fully responsible for the weight of his words in my life.  He will also have to bear the consequences of what he did to me.  He will have to bear the weight of guilt and shame and the knowledge, one day, of what he did to me.  He didn’t count the cost of his freedom to use shame-filled words or his freedom to choose to abuse another human being.

Words have power.  Words can bind us to shame more than shameful actions bind us.  The tongue is a powerful weapon and we can use it for good or for evil.  Our choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As human beings we MUST learn to be responsible with our words because words can rob of us our childhood and taint our future.  Words tear and rend and hurt.  Words can shame.

Or words can:

• be like honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones
• be from a wise tongue that brings healing
• instruct, build up and encourage another person
• give life
• envision

I am a firm advocate of freedom of speech and freedom of choice but the older I get and the more I interact with people, people who are near and dear to God’s heart, people who are bound by shame because of words spoken over them, the more I am an advocate of responsible speech and responsible choice.  I believe we must count the cost of our words and our actions and then be willing to accept the consequences of our words and choices.  Both good and evil consequences.

I’m just gonna think out loud with you for a moment because I’ve been pondering this idea as I’ve prepared this post.  As I’ve Considered the issues of freedom of speech and the gift of free will, being responsible and counting the cost of our choices, I’ve wondered about God and His choice to give us free will.  Was He responsible?  Did He count the cost?  Certainly He had to count the cost of this choice for humanity and then be willing to pay the price for it right?  Certainly He must have known we would fall and that the consequence of our fall would be much greater than our getting kicked out of Eden.  The cost He counted and the price He was willing to pay for our freedom of choice and speech was the life of His Son Jesus.

As I’ve been pondering this idea it has made all the more grateful for this amazing gift of freedom but it has also made me more sober and thoughtful as I’ve tried to embrace the enormity of what God did for us in risking it all to give us freedom of choice.  Knowing how much forgiveness, grace and mercy God has extended to me when I’ve used my tongue for evil rather than good has humbled me but it has also caused me to be quicker to forgive those who have used words to hurt and shame me.  AND it has freed me to accept that those who have shamed and hurt me with words will bear the consequences of those words, but only as God allows and as God sees fit.

The bad news is sticks and stones my break our bones but words can kill, hurt, bind and shame us.  The good news is Jesus IS the word that became flesh and walked among us and He took the shame and guilt and pain of those words upon Himself so that we can be healed and free.  As THE WORD he redefines the power of the spoken tongue.

I know this to be true because Jesus has healed me from those words that bound me at eight-years-old.  I know, without a shadow of doubt today, that I NEVER wanted what that boy did to me. I DID NOT tempt him and it was NOT my fault.  It was his fault.  But I have forgiven him and I have repented for believing such malevolent and evil lies and chosen to believe the truth that Jesus reveals to me every day.

I don’t know if this is making a lick of sense but it was just something I had to get out of my head and into words.

What are your thoughts on this?

 

English as a Second Language

Having just completed my first full week at my new job I’ve discovered something: I need to learn how to speak the language!  I don’t mean the language of cosmetics and skin care, I think I was born knowing about those things.  Nope, after a week working with really great people I’ve realized that I have spoken “Christianese” for so long that I have forgotten how the rest of the world talks on a daily basis in real life.

This has been a revelation of sorts.  I really thought that I had done a pretty decent job of staying relevant to the culture.  I really did.  In my former job with the church one of our values was to be culturally relevant, and we worked really hard at it.  We really valued people living on the earth now, trying to do the best they can with what they have in today’s culture.  We talked regularly about not being religious, not using “religious code language” that would alienate people, people precious and dear to the heart of God.  We worked hard at staying relevant in all areas of church life and ministry.  We wanted to be a warm, safe and welcoming place for hurting and seeking humanity.  A place where people felt heard and understood and where they understood the language of love.  It was a deep heart commitment for me as a pastor and leader to be approachable and safe.  But they came to me.  They were on my turf as it were so I really wasn’t pushed to hard to speak a different language.

But dang, when you are suddenly out there, right smack in the middle of culture, it is a totally different story.  And I’m not someone who has lived in a “holy huddle” ignoring the world.  I have always been interested in pop culture, in media, in fashion and trends.  I’ve raised teenagers  people!  I knew in junior high that there was no way I could be a nun!  The clothes were boring and the shoes were worse.  Ugh. No offense to the women who have dedicated themselves to serving Jesus in this way.  I just knew at a visceral level I would never be able to submit to those  clothing restrictions.  I would make a cult leader weep and beg for me to leave because I would challenge the conformity of dress and social rules all day long!

For the past 16 years in my career I was my job talk about Jesus, healing, forgiveness, the power of the Holy Spirit, confession, etc.  I was immersed in an environment where we talked about Jesus like most people talk about getting a cup of coffee or what their weekend plans are.  Jesus was just a part of every day life and conversation.  It was my normal and I loved it!  I thrived there.  I felt comfortable there.  I felt safe there.  I felt like I was really making a difference and helping people there, and I was.  All are true and all are valid.

But God.  But God.  OH, BUT GOD!  He is on the one hand, the same yesterday, today and forever and on the other hand, the bend in the road, the shifting tide, the sudden wind blowing in from a different direction.  I have been meditating on this quote from Dan Allender’s book Leading with a Limp all week:

“Crisis is the eruption of chaos, the cloudburst that ruins the beautiful day.  We want fair winds and a safe run from our port to the destination ahead.  We may have secured a favorable weather report and prepared the boat for every possible problem, but as sure as the sun will rise, tides will change, and entropy happens, few of our plans will go as we design.  There is no way to plan for all the contingencies or have all the knowledge we need to navigate the strange waters of life.

Crisis is not a bump in the pavement that causes us to hold the steering wheel more tightly; it is the wall that we hit while we’re steering with everything we’ve got–and it leaves us wondering how we will survive.  Crisis is the context for opportunity and growth, but it also takes us to the edge where some don’t survive.”

But God.

I do believe that I have been running the race that Jesus has marked out for me.  Frankly, I was pretty smug in my confidence in knowing my destination and how I was going to get there.  I just didn’t see the sharp left turn in the road that Jesus had marked out.  And I am positive that it is a very good thing that I didn’t see it ahead of time or I would have done everything in my power to fix what would have been, in my thinking, a divergent path. I just couldn’t plan for all the contingencies and now I find myself in strange waters and it is an opportunity for growth.  It is taking me to the edge and I can only pray that I WILL survive.  That sounds pretty melodramatic doesn’t it?  But some days it feels just that dramatic emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

So I continue to put all my eggs in my one basket: Jesus, trusting Him to help me learn the language and become even more relevant to my generation, the emerging generation of leaders and to the culture I am living in.  My daughter Kayla put it well when she told me it’s just learning how to say the same things I’ve always said only using different words.  I am so glad that Jesus knows all the languages of the world!

Already Jesus has shown me opportunities ahead to minister life and hope to this new team I am a part of.   I just need to listen closely to how the He would have me share the same things I always have but with different words.

This is a whole new way to live out loud my friends!